My Blog

23 jan 2010

0430H

the lightswitch clicks as you enter this desolate room. unchanged and still unlit, the room remains shrouded in darkness. you then remember, hence the struggle towards the powerbox. only a shadow of a corridor glow sparks your way into this small expanse.

a snap from the mainswitch resonates. then a sudden brightness pierces through the room. you take a panning glance at the void space. into this stuffed emptiness you have called home. the silence numbs you. dampened firmly at the absence of a commotion. the watch tells it's half past four in the morning. past a drive headed to the workplace, a dinner sojourn, and eight beer bottles, this same space you earlier left had a familiar warmth of human traffic.

but now, only an echo of stillness greets you. broken only by the thought of warm-blooded company. you open the windowpane. a cold and swift pre-morning gust disturbs the stale air.

there was just you.

thirsty. as you open the doorfridge, you hoped. for a moment there you imagined. a gentle fingertap touching your back. then an all too familiar voice, "da - ddy... choc - late.... pleeeaaaase." you would have said your obligatory remark under the usual conditions, "not now baby ash. only after you eat your dinner." but there was none. not even the familiar clutter of a toddler left on common ground.

nowhere headed now but straight up the second floor room. there a bed lay barren, folded sheaths creased to a seamless fold. it was fit for two.

but then there was just you.

tired. and now sober. you could've asked a cuddle from the other half.

not today, ash.

not today.