safety stop

at thirty years, i would say my assimilation process with this other-ness had a delayed start. even if awareness has struck me alongside puberty, i have only recently become more comfortable with what is, what can become and with what i can't. in those gapping years, reality has convoluted into two levels - the ash and the sam. they are the work of the same hands and the same mind, but live in two different paths bounded by a 38th parallel. there is no truce to speak of, as it is unconditional that these two realities remain separate. now the fear that either ash or sam recedes is if situations would occur where sam's and ash's paths would intersect and the world that one sits will recognize the others that lives beneath. this is a growing fear, as the line drawn between is imaginary. for these two realities sits on the same world and walks on the same soil.

8 comment/s:

  1. citybuoy says
    August 31, 2009 at 4:02 PM  

    sometimes, the thought of people who know different sides of me meeting up and talking scares the hell out of me. but i suppose that's the price we pay for living a double life.


    engel says
    August 31, 2009 at 4:21 PM  

    that's the danger of living two different lives. There is a chance the two worlds will collide.


    Goodboi says
    September 1, 2009 at 9:11 AM  

    Sam, want to see a glimpse of tomorrow? You'd better see the series entitled 'Normal.'I have a feeling that it would suit you best.


    ash says
    September 1, 2009 at 2:54 PM  

    @cb
    i separate the people that these two lives meet and mingle. and the very (very) few people who knows this sam, doesnt know much about my other life.

    @engel
    agree. gotta make it repel as far as possible.

    @goodboi
    sige, lemme see if i can download them. thanks for the advise man! but dont get me wrong goodboi, i intend to keep these two lives separate.


    Anonymous says
    September 1, 2009 at 8:01 PM  

    I think most of us having this kind of life fears for that. we really don't know what will happen if ever. Until then, I think you must go on but be careful always.


    Anonymous says
    September 1, 2009 at 9:39 PM  

    the multicolored life of the other should not mix with the straight solid color of the other personality or else if mixed muddy color would be the result.

    hugs!


    Goodboi says
    September 2, 2009 at 8:51 AM  

    Dude, I didn't say that you drop it off. I think I gave up on that long time ago. :-)


    Anonymous says
    September 2, 2009 at 5:21 PM  

    I just hope you're prepared for whatever happens. :-)