where the winds sigh

there was no more obvious gesture of provocation than the hand falling on towel ground. he let out a slight, perceptible twitch in response. a knee jerk reflex, I thought, but i guess his consent tapered this advance into submission. no practice, but he came prepared for the taking.

he was in good hands.

touch me, all silent
tell me, please. all is forgiven
consume my wine
consume my mind
i’ll tell you how, how the winds sigh

beyond the television noise was his audible breathing pattern. now deeper and more rhythmic. his head, still lazing comfortably above my shoulder, now extended to my neck as breathing groung. in return, my cheek was grazing his dense cranial hair. the friction must have let out a heightened olfactory embrocation to make me want to lay on it endlessly.

back to my left hand. still feeling his frontage, it was now trying to make its way inside the towel. no words to speak for the matter. even the visions captured by the eyes were secondary to what was trailblazing.

and everything fell into cruise control. as if seemingly premeditated.

the clock's second hand progressed as always, the tick of time moving to a slow, anesthesized pace. it was an hour's worth of bed theatrics till checkout and neither one was rushing the moment.

touch me, just try it
now, there. that’s it.
god, that’s heaven
i’ll love your light
i’ll love you right
we’ll wander down where the sins cry

my advances. his indulgence. he let my uninhibited imagination carry out the deed.

the next scenes were gasmic, but both were being cautious. there was no sex involved. not even an exchange of saliva. it was all a play of touch until each one had his share of blast. a tight embrace was the closest i could ever have.

it wasn't like this before. i was reserved. an introvert. unlikely to strike a word nor phrase to a stranger. but here i was, taking on another man to fill in an unrequited desire. he didn't mind he was threading on the forbidden. it was an all too sudden ménage. too brazen to think and appreciate the consequences.

careless. or carefree. he was pilyo in an attractive way.

this scottish brew went on for a few months. i turned into his monthly visitor. we had our blinding moments in the hotel bed. and casually walked as two buddies while on outside pass. still no humping 'do - he wasn't ready. and i wasn't willing.

in between was a few hundred miles distance which was connected by exchanges over at YM and SMS. i would often wait for mrs. ash to sleep before we engage in verbal, or virtual jerk off.

until that moment he mentioned the 143 digit.

"i love you."

touch me, just like that
now lower down, where the sins lie

love me, just for a bit
we’ll wander down, where’s the winds sigh

which made me realize he was just a dependence i couldn't afford. lil boy sam was still mr ash.

he may be in need of love. but this love he cannot claim from ash's other half.

he may be lil boy sam's chosen loved one. but love isn't this sam's preference to run.

18 comment/s:

  1. tiantiantian says

    Another entry, another reason to admire your writing some more. galeng galeng!

    john stanley says

    that's why i love playing with married men...

    no hassles.and definitely, no strings attached.

    anteros' dominion says

    wala akong masabi

    (ngayon lang yata ako naubusan ng mga katagang nais ipahiwatig)

    gayunman, ako'y lubos na humahanga

    Anonymous says

    This is tempting and orgasmic. Keep on writing, man!

    xtian1978ii says

    oh well that was unexpected

    ash says

    so when shall we see yours? ;)

    @john stanley
    good point. i didnt think it in that persepective before. haha. ganon na ba ang bentahan ngayon?

    @anteros' dominion
    thanks! that was a compliment :)

    aren't we all victims of lucifer's horn called lust? hehehe.

    john stanley says

    @ash: i don't know about the others but in my case, married men has always been on top of my list.

    basta bawal ma-inlab, hehehe!

    Anonymous says

    Try me and let's see who comes in as victim. Hahaha

    engel says

    note to self: when with ash, try not to say 'i love you.'


    ash says

    @john stanley
    should i test that theory of your as well? hahaha

    are you, by any way, married? LOLs

    i LOVE it!!! hahaha

    Anonymous says

    nice. good thing you know who and what comes first. :)

    rudeboy says

    What's love got to do, got to do with it?
    Who needs a heart when a heart can be broken?

    anteros dominion says

    i mean it sir!

    natigilan ako sa nabasa ko

    ang galing

    honest, pero hindi brutal

    im learning so much.

    here's to more learning


    anteros' dominion says

    i mean it sir!

    natigilan ako sa nabasa ko

    ang galing

    honest, pero hindi brutal

    im learning so much.

    here's to more learning


    Dhon says

    LOve the 3 part series.. but sad.. the body didnt stand a chance.. he fell for you ash.. unlike you or us that we are so use to the so called "Expiration Dating" and we made sure not to fall in love..
    like i said.. he didnt stand a chance.. he is bound to fall in love with you.. sooner or later..

    Anonymous says

    Hey, a tied-knot is just for formality. And it should apply at least for those who are committed. :)

    citybuoy says

    i think this is my favorite of the three. very well written and very telling of your being. :D

    Jamir says

    pity for the young guy who fell in love with mr ash. unfortunate as it may seem, he had to learn it somehow. in a way, you taught him to be more cautious of giving out those 3 dreadful words. could i just say, "been there, done that". ^_^

    it was very bold of you to post these kind of entries. i like it. thanks for sharing your stories.