sige na nga, sweldo naman
these past few days, i was in the midst of contemplating on more stringent means of stretching ones hard-earned buck and cut the non-essentials from the daily toil. there were a number considered dispensable, and even a few bordering on the extravagant. expenses that i could definitely live without, and even at that, stay comfortable. the current state of my saving plan can be improved, and was then eyeing at opportunities where money can grow further on its own, as well as money that can stay liquid in cases of an emergency.
the first order this weekend was to buy a few long delayed household stuff. i thought of just making a quarter-hour walk or taking a few minutes of jeep ride to a nearby mall. but coming out of the driveway, the horizon was making its gloomy impression. the land was drenched, hazed with an endless outpour of the rain.
"sige na nga, sweldo naman," as i was making a careful effort of tabbing my expenses. gas and parking would cost more than a stroll or at worst, the cheapest public transport. but i was unprepared with the weather condition, thus the detour into the parking level towards the slot where the car stands.
the mall began its opening hour and was still devoid of human traffic. passing through the food stalls, i realized i wasn't able to take breakfast at home. as the thought of hunger was setting in, the food displays were becoming a distracting temptation.
"sige na nga, sweldo naman."
the first stop was the hardware. it was an easy journey as i was preoccupied with a bunch of munch while walking towards the store.
it just happened that the mall was marked for a weekend sale.
"sige na nga." a few quick glances at my favored brands. glances which translated into a swipe of a credit card. i continue to argue that i was still within my monthly spending limit (sans the revised saving plan).
then the last dash was at the grocery to take in a few week-long provisions. the few ending out with a few more goodies stashed in cart. the impulse to take on more than was planned was thoughtfully justified. "sweldo naman."
i was then on my way home. three bags heavier.
coming through at a busy intersection, i drove the car to a halt. an outpouring of rain continued. a frail, little girl came knocking on my driver side windshield. she was peddling a few strands of sampaguita. the sound of liquid passing up a straw distracted the eye contact between me and the girl as i was sipping this cup of milk tea.
"magkano?"
"bente po."
"ang isa?!?"
"opo."
sige na ash. sweldo lang naman yan.
"akin na lahat," taking out bills worth one hundred and twenty pesos. and the two loaves of pastry i bought. she beamed towards me with a gleeful smile.
i knew they may be into some form of a collusion. on why the government, who we pay a sum of hard earned taxes as trust to restore a sense of order and comfort amongst our society. on how these kids brave the torrential rains that has beset us the past two days. but more uncertain over the future they will receive.
on how we cannot remain as spectators. but change agents.
sweldo lang yan ash.
Thank you for this post, Ash.
I admit I sometimes share the misgivings you mentioned when helping out the street peddlers and their various brethren.
"Sindikato yan. Hindi naman nya ipambibili ng pagkain yung limos. Huu, kwentong-awa lang yan."
And yet - when I silence my reason (and my reasons) and allow compassion to take over, well...the beaming smiles, as in your experience, pay me back tenfold.
"...we cannot remain as spectators. but change agents."
A glimmer of hope and a small ray of light is welcome after the dark tragedy this country just endured.
citybuoy says
i must admit i've sort of become indifferent to street people. i guess years of commuting does that you. immune na, kumbaga.
but every now and then, when i see an old lady or an old man, i fish deep into my pockets for whatever i can spare. it's the old people who kill me. sindikato man o hindi, i don't wanna see 'em suffer.
you are right. we need to be agents of change but how? confucious said blahdiblahdiblah teach a man to fish. bottom line is the government needs to do something too.
rudeboy says
@ citybuoy: Hey Nyl! If there's anything I am jaundiced about, it is the government. Any government. Especially this current travesty of one.
Anyway, lest I go off on an explosive tangent, in a previous exchange of commentaries you and I have shared, we did say that "We do what we can." And yes, charity is a bottomless pit and yes, compassion can run out, but our little acts of random kindnesses do make a difference.
That I would like to believe - which is why I, like you, spare change for the needy. Our heads say no; our hearts cannot.
engel says
I need to remember when ash's sweldo is. seems he is on a giving mood during those times. :)
ash says
@rudeboy
you hit it right on the spot. i wasnt inclined to post anything about last weekends calamity. the internet would be abound by these first hand stories. TNTC - too numerous to count. but i needed to outpour this sense of responsibility that we need to remind to each one of us. it doesnt really have to reach tragic endings. we just need to look left and right. each day is a struggle for many of our brethren.
we cannot just sit down and wait for manna to fall onto these people.
we are the hope that you speak about.
now im talking too much.
ash says
@citybuoy
how you ask? the answer lies by talking to your heart. we may argue whether it was a right or wrong thing to do. but you can never fault kindness as a human trait.
and little steps. we cannot carry the burden of this age, but we surely can lend our pair of hands and feet.
the weekend was an ardent example. we didnt really need to shell out money. at the red cross center yesterday, we were struggling with manpower to finish a dispatch of goods. if there were just one or two more who were willing to dirty their hands, the earlier these provisions would have reached to those in need.
ash says
@engel
do you consider yourself in need? :)
klawd says
how can we change the world?
through one simple Act of Random Kindness.
-Evan Almighty.
---
nice post, kelan ba sweldo mo. makikipila ako =P
engel says
in need of tender love and affection. hahaha.
nah just kidding!
=D
but seriously though, what you did for the kid, was nice. and would've been timely.
POPOY says
i wish i know you ash para pag sweldo pangap ako na less furtunate para humingi ng limos sau... ksi u have a big kind heart hindi ako mapapahiya sau LOL